Showing posts with label joint custody. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joint custody. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Where's Cesar Millan When I Need Him?

When Justin and I returned from the beach last month after being gone for an entire week, we expected Sam to go crazy as soon as she heard us walk in, but instead she chose to stay on Justin’s parents’ bed until we actually walked into the bedroom to find her.  That was part of the reason why I thought she would be so happy staying with Justin’s parents during the weekends, because she seemed so content there before.  However, when Justin and I arrived yesterday evening to pick her up, she was BESIDE HERSELF with excitement.   She barked non-stop and even jumped up onto us a couple of times, which is not typical behavior for Sam.   She was beyond happy to see us, and even happier when I put her harness on her and she realized we were taking her home.  She had a big, goofy, ear-to-ear grin on her face as she rode home with her head sticking out the window, barking occasionally to let everyone know how happy she was to be going home.

It warmed my heart to see Sam so happy, but that quickly dissolved as soon as Sam was reunited with Margot.  Margot immediately stood on her hind legs and wrapped her arms around Sam’s neck while also trying to bite her ears.   I decided to let them both go outside before Margot’s playfulness escalated, which seemed to work at first.  Margot mostly just followed Sam around the yard, but didn’t really try to play with her much.  Once they came back inside, though, Margot went nuts!  Sam actually tolerated her for a few minutes, but then the barking began. 
 
I wish I understood dog behavior better because I would love to know what’s really going on between these two whenever they bark and show their teeth to one another.  Margot is obviously just trying to play with Sam, but I honestly can’t tell if Sam is unhappy about it or actually semi-engaging in this form of play with Margot.   It seems like Sam would be doing more to put Margot in her place if she were truly angry with her, like snap at her or at least give a lower-pitched, more serious-sounding bark, but Sam never does that.  She just shows her teeth and gives a soft, sustained growl most of the time.  She does occasionally let out a loud bark with a brief snipping motion if Margot bites her too hard or won’t leave her alone while she’s trying to sleep, but for the most part Sam allows Margot to literally walk all over her. 


This may seem like an okay situation, but then...

...two seconds later!

I thought that maybe Margot was just extra excited about Sam being home and hoped that she would eventually lose interest in picking on her.  I even tried to lure Margot away from Sam several times by squeaking her favorite toys and initiating games with her, but Sam (bless her heart) always wants to be wherever I am and, as a result, she ends up putting herself right back in Margot’s path.  It’s the same situation whenever we move the baby gate and allow Sam to go upstairs by herself.   You would think that she’d love the opportunity to get away from the puppy and lounge on our bed all night, but instead she just ends up crying and standing at the baby gate because not only does she hate to be alone, but she’s not happy unless Justin and I are BOTH in the room with her!  It’s extremely frustrating because she makes it impossible for us to help her.   So, our only two options are to either to watch Margot incessantly pick on Sam and listen to them bark and growl at each other all night, or to take Sam back over to Justin’s parents’ house, and I hate both of those options.   

With that said, I reminded Justin at lunch today that during the few days when I was toiling over the “joint custody” decision, things actually seemed to be getting a little bit better between Margot and Sam, especially after Margot learned how to play ball.   Therefore, I’m just going to see how the rest of this week goes before I make any further decisions.  If the situation feels like it’s improving, I’m going to just try riding it out for a while, rather than separate Sam and Margot again.  Like I said, part of the reason why Margot was so relentless last night may have been due to the excitement of having Sam home again.   I’m crossing my fingers that tonight will be a little calmer for all of us.

Why can't they just be like this all the time?


Monday, September 10, 2012

Weekend Highs and Lows

Well, we certainly had an interesting weekend.  It started on Friday, when Justin took Sam to his parents’ house to drop her off for the weekend.  I decided not to go with him because I thought it might be too difficult for me, but we received updates all weekend and she apparently really enjoyed herself.  We’ll probably be going up there tonight to pick her up and bring her home for the week.

9 wks Vs. 12 wks (The bigger she gets, the more afraid she is to be up on the counter.)
Saturday morning, we took Margot for her 12-week check-up and another round of vaccinations at the Animal Care Clinic.  The last time I was at the vet, it was when I took Jocie to find out what was wrong with her, and I was told she had advanced kidney failure and, unfortunately, I felt it was best to euthanize her.  After that visit, the receptionist told me not to worry about making a payment at that time.  She said she’d just bill me.  Therefore, I was fully expecting to pay around $200 when we checked out after Margot’s appointment on Saturday.   I also knew that Jocie’s ashes were ready to be picked up (a separate charge of $256), which Justin had generously offered to pay for me.  However, I was quite shocked when I was told that my total account balance was over $400, which did not include Jocie’s cremation and ashes!  That included x-rays, blood work, and who knows what other tests they did in order to diagnose Jocie’s kidney failure.  The only reason why I’m kind of put off about this total is simply because I wasn’t given any sort of heads up about it beforehand.  Usually, the vet will call and ask permission to do a bunch of tests like that while also giving me an estimate of how much it will cost.  I’m not saying I would have denied Jocie any of the tests she had done, I’m just saying that it sucked being blindsided with a total that was more than double what I was expecting to pay!

Thankfully, they are allowing me to make payments, but this really doesn’t help my already bleak financial situation at the moment.  To make matters worse, this weekend was my little brother’s 30th birthday and all of our friends were planning to have dinner together, then go out to a bar afterwards.  After giving the Animal Care Clinic 2/3 of what was in my bank account that morning, I seriously questioned whether or not I would be able to go out and celebrate my brother’s birthday that night.  Justin happened to have a friend in from out of town, whom he said he could hang out with for free, and he, therefore, insisted I take the only $20 bill he had in his wallet so that I could join our friends for Zach’s birthday dinner and drinks.  The only reason I felt okay with this arrangement, though, was because Justin was already planning to make a big pot of chili to take over to Zach and Kristy’s the next day, which was Zach’s actual birthday, and spend the entire day watching football with everyone. 

So, I went out Saturday night without Justin, but by the end of the night I wasn’t so sure if it had been such a good idea, after all.  Maybe it was the pitcher of margaritas I had shared during dinner plus the few beers I had while at the bar, but I got a little teary towards the end of the night.  I just hated the fact that Justin wasn’t there due to our horrible financial situation, on top of all the other crap that has happened this past summer.  I just feel like I’m not really dealing with everything very well , and I keep trying to ignore the pain of it all by distracting myself and pretending to be happy and okay.  The downside to this strategy, of course, is the fact that my repressed pain and depression is finding the most inopportune times to rear it’s ugly head and create embarrassing social situations for myself (i.e. while sitting at my desk at work, while eating out at a restaurant, while hanging out with friends, etc.). 

Margot watching football with Justin.  (So cute!)

Anyway, Sunday was a little bit better.  Justin made his fabulous veggie chili, I made a batch of buffalo cheese dip, and we took Margot over to Zach and Kristy’s place for a day of watching football.  I’m not the world’s biggest football fan, mind you, but I enjoyed spending the day with friends and eating TONS of yummy food.  It was definitely a prime socializing experience for Margot, too, as she played her little heart out with all of our friends.  The boys, especially, loved rough-housing with her.  By the end of the night, she was completely WIPED OUT!  In fact, she was so zonked that she barely woke up when I scooped her up in my arms and carried her home. 

All in all, I think Justin and I did a decent job of making the most out of this past weekend.  I know that Margot had a fantastic time, and hopefully Sam enjoyed her puppy-free weekend relaxing over at Justin’s parents’ house.  I can’t wait to pick her up tonight and bring her home!  I missed my Samul cuddles. 
Sam just being Sam

Friday, September 7, 2012

Couch Companions and a Decision Revision

Back when we first got Margot, I contracted a stomach virus and had to take a couple days off work.  I can’t remember if she was 6 or 7 weeks-old at the time, but she was tiny.  I was worried that it might be difficult looking after such a tiny puppy while also being sick, but those two sick days turned out to be an excellent bonding experience for me and Margot.  All I could really do was lay on the couch, so I put her up on the couch with me, and she would either just romp around me or lay beside me while I held her rope or chew toy for her.  She really was great company and kept me highly entertained.


Sam and Margot keeping me company

Well, last night I found myself feeling sick and laying on the couch, once again.  At least this time horrible stomach cramps weren’t involved, but I’m definitely catching whatever crud Justin brought home from the beach (mostly a sore throat, coughing, and just feeling run down in general).  Justin had to run to the store at one point and Ashley wasn’t home, so that left me taking care of my now 12 week-old Margot all by myself for about an hour.  Again, because I was feeling so run down, I was afraid she might be a little bit much for me to handle, but I was wrong.  Margot just laid on the couch with me the whole time Justin was gone and was perfectly content watching TV with me and gnawing on her Nylabone.  I swear, it’s like she can tell when I’m not feeling well.   She didn’t even give Sam, who was also lying on the couch with me, a hard time.

"Don't feel like playing?  No problem.  I'm fine right here."
Speaking of Sam, I have an update about the “joint custody” decision.  For various reasons, we haven’t been able to take Sam over to Justin’s parents’ house yet this week, which has given me a little more time to think about it.  While Margot does still bug the crap out of Sam whenever she’s having her “crazy puppy time,” I think I’m doing a better job of distracting Margot and re-focusing her attention away from Sam.  We’ve been playing ball a lot more, for example, and after Margot gets worn out and settles down, there really aren’t any problems between her and Sam.  That being said, I realize that it’s going to be a little more difficult preventing Margot from harassing Sam during the weekends because she will be out of her crate for most of the day.  Therefore, the new plan is to allow Sam to stay with Justin’s parents from Friday to Sunday instead of Monday through Friday.  I’m happier with this decision, as it just seems to make more sense, and we will get to spend more time with Sam this way, too. 

So, all in all, things are going pretty well with the girls.  I feel like I fall more madly in love with Margot every single day, and I definitely appreciate Sam much more now than I ever did before.